“Somewhere somehow you bought into other people’s rules that don’t serve you. When we met over 20 years ago you did your own thing, made your own way and now I see that you have been trying to live life by the other people’s rules which we both know don’t really work”, that’s what Salina said to me today.
It’s one thing to be on the road less traveled. It’s another to accept the journey and move forward. And yet thriving on the uncharted path seems to be the most elusive for us humans. I think most people start out doing their own thing, matching to their drum beat, defining uniquely what makes them happy but when life gets challenging they abandon ship for what seems to be an easier way to a good life. Their perception gets blurred and the assumption is set into a belief, that if they stay on the road less traveled they will only survive not thrive. So they, we, migrate over to the paved road and accept the terms and conditions to stay on the paved road. Some of the terms and conditions we must accept are that a mystical governing body called “other people, them or they” will set your goals, craft your aspirations and define what is good and happy for you. You are uncomfortable with these terms and conditions but accept anyway because the glossy brochure of “The Promised Life” is so compelling. I think that is when the illusion/brainwashing and settling in life starts. We want a good life and truly believe this compromise will get us there. Please don’t think I am passing judgement on you, or me. I don’t think anyone wants to just survive. I don’t want to just survive. I want to THRIVE and I think you do too.
I used to find it annoying when people talked about how great their lives once were. I promised myself that I would not be that kind of person, living a life were all the good parts are in the past. Yet when I was my truest self and enjoyed life the most I found myself speaking in past tense. At some point in life experiences and people’s “good advice” wear you down and the person you once were begins to fad away. You willing walk over to the paved road and accept the High Level BS that life offers. We forget that all life will experience challenges regardless if we are on the paved and unpaved road. That amnesia/forgetting is dangerous.
So now I am sitting on Salina’s couch in her living room stressing and she reminds me that I once thrived on the uncharted path and therefore I can do it again. That the skills required, I already posses and the outcome is repeatedable. YES! One I am home I came across a video clearly echoing our conversation. Its is by Vishen Lakhiani, the Founder of Mind Valley. The video is about Brules of Life and he says, “most people are living their lives limited by dogma. By choosing to challenge convention, you can liberate yourself from the shackles of the culturescape and redefine life on your own terms”. So what brule am I buying into right now that is causing stress? I got quiet and listened to the answer. One big brule I am dealing with is the belief that my ideas are not connected, that I must chose one and they are just hobbies not viable to support me and mine. I know that it is not true but knowing and believing are two different things. Knowing does not require experience, it is accepting. Whereas believe requires a personal experience and it involves faith. I have to believe that my ideas are connected, viable and can happen together. In order to believe I have to act as though it is true and reinforce
Ok Love stay the course don’t go back to the paved road. Forget what “they” say and do what your heart says. Listen to your own drum beat. Find your way. You have done it before so there is muscle memory and you have the tools and skills needed.
I share this pep talk with you to encourage you, take a leap of faith on you and for you. Address one brule at a time. If you need help with your brules, let me know in the comments below.