The other day I was enjoying the company of good friends when the conversation moved to a topic that I have personal experience with and have properly diagnosed the social-economic, interpersonal and spiritual causes of the diminished state. My genius and my bias were prevalent. Lucky for me the ladies allowed me to be heard. I am grateful for that expression of love towards me.
The next day as I rehashing the discussion a thought came to mind and it was, “so what!” So what you figured out the social ills and why certain dynamics of today’s social climate/situations are present, what is that doing to do for you right now other than making you upset and disappointed? I had no answer. I am not a social scientist nor am I am policy maker. Gone are the days when I put my life om hold and fully invest myself into a cause just because I believe in it or know the importance of the issue. My sole ambition is to thrive on my hero’s journey in life. I know that investing fully into big issues that plague society, like the plight of today’s single women or race or the dynamics between men and women in America, is not a part of my life’s purpose. Now this does not mean I will not support those who’s calling in life is to address those and other social ills, like mistreatment of animals. On the contrary I will support with my time and my money. Yet, I am clear that I am not the lady for those jobs.
Once I acknowledged how I contributed to those experiences of those societal ills in my life I asked, what am I to do now? The answer was quick and clear, FORGIVE. Let me be clear, like you I am disappointed by certain experiences in my life. I have been heart broken and I feel the frustration of student loan debt. I am not this angry women ready to eat people alive if they disagree. I am a women in America, like so many, who’s life’s is not what she planned and the pressure of the socio-economics of today are felt burdens. Yet I still get up and refocus my efforts towards thriving, not surviving.
Forgiveness is a skill that is always used. As much as I would want a respite from it, now and then, it will always be around needing to be used. Let me share with you a process for forgiveness I learned early in life that I will be using again. First, I need to dig deep and identify who and what needs forgiveness in my life. Second, I need to forgive myself for not listening to my soul/intuition when it whispered and yelled. Third, I need to accept that people are doing their best with what they have even though I don’t believe that fully. I think acceptance can occur even if I don’t believe, that has to be empathy. Fifth, I will apologize to those I feel compelled to do so. I will own up to my part and try VERY HARD not to point out how they hurt me.
I share this with you because being true to yourself and thriving on the road less traveled means showing up fully every day. So today I am showing up and sharing with you. I accept that if I am to achieve my personal and professional aspirations I have to love and heal my spirit. Forgiving does not make what happened ok. Nor does it make the harmful/hurtful/disappointing acts acceptable. Nor does it mean I lessen my standard for living as compared to others, especially the people who hurt or tried to cause harm or confusion.
I want certain aspects of my life to be different and I do wish certain circumstances had not played out as they did. Yet regretting serves no purpose. Primarily because there is not guarantee that what I wanted would have happened if this or that did or did not happen. I can’t redo, I can only do and I can only do what the information and intuition I have right now. There is a belief that everything happens for the benefit of those involved. Additionally, the good, the bad and the ugly serves a purpose in life. Finally, at some point in life a person will know the reason for the experiences in their life. I am looking forward to the day when I learn the why behind some of my biggest disappointments and hurts I have experienced. My diagnosis of certain social-economic, interpersonal and spiritual diseases in today’s world is accurate but it is my choice to live a happy and thriving life amongst it all.
Join me in the forgiving process. I am sure that when burden is lifted through forgiveness your hero’s journey will take a turn from better to best! Let me know how it goes for you.